When my son and daughter-in-law first announced to us that they were expecting, they asked my husband and myself what we wanted to be called.

I had no idea.

My husband right away says, “Grandpa”. Easy enough. I wanted a cute name. I wanted to be called something different. All I had growing up was “Grandmas” and “Grandpas”. They lived 15 miles apart most of my childhood and we just called them that.

We did not call one “Oma”, all though she was German, nor did we call one, “Queen”, although she had the most children and probably grandchildren in the county.

We just called them what they were.

We never had any confusion about which grandparent we were visiting as their last name always seemed to be included. When we were visiting them at their home, they were just called “Grandma” or “Grandpa”.

My children called their grandparents the same.

Although, we did address their grandparents by their first names, one was called, “Grandma Udy”, as Judy was not easy for them to say. We also had a Great Grandma that my boys called, “Grandma Cupcake”, but that was also because it was what her last name sounded like to them.

We did not have nicknames for grandparents. It was not our tradition nor was it my husband’s family.

I am not sure if this is a new thing or if it is a generational thing for grandparents to be called something other than “Grandma” or “Grandpa” or if it is a cultural or regional tradition, but I was given this opportunity to choose what to be called and I wanted it to be significant of me.

I was so silly and stressed for months trying to come up with what I wanted my grandson to call me.

I googled names for “Grandma”. I also asked friends what they were called. It ranged by various names, like, “Glamma”, “Gigi”, and even, “Lolli”.  I had friends called, “DeDe”, “BeBe”, but all of these went with their names.

The search for what to be called was a struggle.

This would be my first grandchild and from this child on determined what I would be called. This seemed so important. I thought for a bit that I could be called, “CiCi”, but as we started using this, it always had “Grandma” in front of it. I then tried “Nonni” for a while and yet again, it was not me.

My son and daughter-in-law tried using the “names’ that I had wanted them to try, this went on even after my grandson was born. At one time, I thought I could be called “Nonna CiCi”. Nope. It didn’t seem to “flow” or roll off my tongue easily, but we tried.

It wasn’t until after my grandson started talking that I knew what I would be called. I noticed anytime he was wanting me or talking to me he’d call me, “Mamma”. It took a few times and the realization that he was addressing me. He named me and it was the most beautiful name I could think of to be called, especially hearing him say it.

My heart swelled a little more that day, I am sure.

Now,all he has to do is tell me he wants a “nack”, or “ice” in his water because in all honestly, he can be bougie like that, all he has to do is put “Mamma” in front of his request and he’s got it. No apologies.

“Mamma” has him because he has my heart, for sure.

If you are going to be given a new title soon and are on the struggle bus on what to be called, just know that if you can’t decide, they will name you, no matter what you call yourself or what you may want to be called, they may give you the name that is meant to be.

“Mamma” is what I am called.