We all have that one friend, that one relative, that one person that can turn any occassion into being about them.

Yea, you know who you are.

That one person that comes to a family gathering and looks like she is just so miserable to be there, which takes the happy energy away from the occasion because everyone is so worried about “Linda”.

Poor Linda.

They go on an outing with friends and all they can talk about is how busy they have been and all the great things they are working on and projects they have done. They make the outing all about themselves, which is great because friends celebrate friends, but step down from the stage occasionally, to allow someone else to stand out. Your friends know you are talented. They know you are beautiful. They know you are always about you, yes, they know you.

Stop it, it doesn’t always have to be.

These types of people are always tired. They are just overwhelmed. They are not ready for the holidays, even when it is just two days away and don’t have the tree up or don’t have their plans set of what they are doing and when. This is all because they volunteer involuntarily. They are requested to do things, as others know they will not refuse, as all know who thrives for attention. Oh, they know you will do it, people understand you are all about attention and need the recognition.

Oh, don’t forget to recognize, Linda. “Such a beautiful job, Linda”.

They always have so much on their plate. Their house is a wreck. Unorganized. Unfolded clothes everywhere. They can’t find anything. Dishes stacked up in the sink. They run thin so thin that there is no stretch in their schedule. Their domain may be a wreck but they are always the ones that are so well put together. Hair, make-up, and clothes are always on point. This is all part of their “cover up”.

You are so beautiful, Linda.

They come to social events, because they know it is expected of them to be there, but if it is not their party or about them, they make sure that everyone can feel their vibes. Their body language says so much. Stand-offish. They don’t even attempt to try to put their own unhappiness aside for even just a few hours or whatever it may be, to just focus on their family, friends and all loved ones. It is just unbearable to have to show or to share in another person’s happiness.

They cannot put their own feelings aside and be an “adult”, whether it be for their children or for their friends. They have their feelings about something, their own beliefs and they hang on to it, whether they are right or wrong, until everyone in the room is aware that they are unhappy.

Read the room, “Linda”. This is a joyous occasion.

They are not accountable for their own feelings or hardships, it is always on someone else. They use guilt and manipulation to get their way. They are offended easily. They have a sense of entitlement and expect all to do what they think they should do. For those that may not follow suit, be prepared. Oh, the wrath. They will cause a scene or may “stage” a meeting, that they control. They will come prepped and well prepared with their beliefs and their feelings, leaving those that may have wandered and have become their own individual, "blind-sided" with guilt and shame and after their “whiplash”, they will leave the crash scene with pose and self-assurance, because in their eyes, they are justified.

Oh, Linda…tsk…tsk…tsk.

We can allow these types of people to take over our special occasions and allow them to make everything about themselves, even if it means allowing them to take away our joy from our special day or we can choose whether they are worthy of being invited or not. It may be hard in some cases to just say, “No more”, or they can be given an ultimatum, “Behave yourself, or this will be the last time you will be included.” To me, I feel it is perfectly fine to let individuals know that their behavior is not acceptable, and it will not be tolerated.

I’m too old for this, “Linda”. 

Adults must understand that there are consequences to their actions or behaviors. To them, they may be all about “themselves”, because they may not receive enough positive attention in their own home, or have gone through some type of trauma, perhaps, or it maybe that they are and have always been the “center of attention” and do not know how to share.

Sorry, Linda, I will put you in “time out”.

Just for once, try to love others more than you love yourself. Love your friends. Love your children. Love others for their differences and put your own selfish thoughts and feelings aside.

Just once.

Step down from your high horse, God loves us all, not just you. Don’t lose your friends and family because you can’t open your heart or your mind.

It is not always about you.