Oh, how the last times can get us.

The last time we are going to do this or the last time we see our kid on that football field, or the last time we haul a race trailer to this track. Sometimes we don’t even know when it is the “last time”, until it is over.

We have gone through so many “lasts”, some we knew it would be the last time and some we did not. These “lasts” can be anything from the last school program to the last football game. I can remember watching my youngest at our “last” football game and having that feeling of, “this is it”.

Some “lasts” come with the feeling of this is okay and some “lasts” are not okay. Some experiences and seasons are so wonderful and have been such a big part of our lives and for so many years, they are hard to just let go.

Some we wait in anticipation for every year, we prep and plan. We look forward to it, whether it would be boating season, football season, even race season, for us. These seasons all hold a special time in our hearts and have filled our memories.

When the “lasts” come, we sometimes feel closure, but sometimes, it can leave us feeling a little sad, even when we know it is the “last time” and even when we are in the decision of it being the last time.

We used to go boating every summer and always went on a lake vacation to Lake McConaughy. I can remember the last time we went on that vacation; it was the summer right before my son left for boot camp. I knew that was the last time we would do that trip, as I could not imagine going on our annual family Lake Mac trip without one of our children. We rented a big beach house, and we invited extended friends. We had so much fun. We took many photos, or I did, all while being in the moment and just letting it all sink in, as I knew it was our “last” time to be there, as we were. We sold our boat a year later. Oh, the memories that went with that boat. Such good fun was made for sure. We may think that one day we will own a boat again, but who knows if that will be.

My guys all played football and although not every season came without injury and worry, it also came with having so much pride for my kid(s) on the field. Hearing his name called for a play or two and just seeing him play the game that he loved was the best. I can remember the tears shed not just by my son(s) and his fellow senior teammates on the last home game of their senior year, but my own, too. I can remember all the games through all the years, from grade school to high school and watching them grow together. It is such a somber moment being out there on the field with everyone right after the game and then walking to our car knowing that this was it.

A few weeks ago, we experienced our last time of going to our local and favorite dirt track with our cars and our trailer, as well as our favorite drivers. When my boys decided that they wanted to race sprint cars, my husband was all in. He loved working on their cars and helping the boys to be competitive. Providing them with cars that could keep up with some of the best racers on the track. Winning was not everything that my husband thought about when it came to the boys and racing. He expected them to learn how to work on their cars as well as to build camaraderie amongst other drivers. He wanted them to not only show respect for others but also grow confidence in themselves. They have raced for 7 years. At the beginning of this season, I saw my husband’s passion as well as my guys’ passion for racing change. Yes, although they love racing their love for it had shifted. It was time.  A few weeks ago, we loaded our cars and pulled our trailer away from that dirt track that we knew so well, although the guys raced at many other tracks from Oklahoma, Kansas, and more, this one will always be special to us. So many emotions. Maybe one day my guys will race again, but for now it is time to focus on their other dreams.

The memories of everything we do, and experience will always be with us.

Our passions may shift but we will always have our memories, the memories that put us right back on a football field, at a racetrack, whether it is drag racing or a dirt track for sprints, we are there. Even a quick stop at Lake McConaughy on our drive out west is always a bit sentimental to our hearts.

We may not know when something is going to be the last time and even when we do, it doesn't change how we feel. A little sadness, sometimes and sometimes, we have that feeling of accomplishment. Sometimes, it has been played out and is time to move on to the next adventure.

My husband always reminds me of the blessings these opportunities have been, which can leave us feeling bittersweet.

So many blessings for sure.  

The memories of the "lasts" are a beautiful thing.