Mothers of daughters have such an important role.

They are the example to their daughters from day one. From that moment, a daughter can observe, they slowly become their mothers. Daughters learn their mannerisms, their behaviors, actions and reactions all from this beautiful woman that they call, “Mom”.

They take it all in, day in and day out until that day they are a grown woman, and the cycle starts all over again.

As with all of us, we all come with “baggage” from our childhood, teenage years, and later years.

Mothers of daughters are not at fault of their own, as the “baggage” has been passed onto them, as there may be some personality patterns, thoughts, feelings, or behaviors that they have been learned from their own mothers, in which they learned from their mothers and so on, which becomes their “baggage”.

The “baggage” just keeps getting passed down. “Here, hold this.”, they say without actually saying it, when a daughter is born to a daughter.

Some patterns just carry on even when a daughter may be aware of those patterns and may even at one time, had told themselves that “when I am grown”, “when I am a wife”, “when I am a mother”. They go on to say, “I will not do that”.” I am not going to say that.” “I will not act that way”, and more.

They only want to pass on the great things that their mother has taught them.

They pass down their skills, their talents and so much more, all while holding their family together while they play, laugh, and grow, yet sadly, they are also handing off their “bag”. They may not always be aware that they are because it is “life”, it is their norm. They balance between so many roles, in which they can be overwhelmed. Life can bring out the “bag” we had once decided to put away but then it just appears repeatedly.

As a daughter, we may laugh with our other sisters’ and say, “I don’t know what got into me the other day, but I heard my mother come out of my mouth.”  There may be laughter, but also a little disappointment.

Changing the elements in the baggage is a conscious effort.

Those elements are something that mothers of daughters know they do not want to pass down, as they themselves many times may have thought after thoughts of their own actions, their words, or their reactions.  We all have regrets and if we could do it over again, we would. We do not want to pass down unhealthy traits, thoughts, or behaviors that may forever be with our children, that were learned generation after generation.

Mothers of daughters do not have to agree with their daughter’s career choice, life decisions, including their parenting technique, or their marriage, but should show love and understanding and provide support when asked. Degrading, sabotaging, interfering only will build a wall between mothers of daughters.

Mothers of daughters that “guilt” their daughter into doing what they want them to do or how they would do something, is coercion or manipulation, and will only be damaging and is not what God had planned for a relationship between a parent and a child.

Daughters of mothers that have grown up with a mother that has narcissistic traits, can decide what will be allowed and what will not. Daughters may move forward without their mothers in their lives or boundaries may be set to alter or detour the “baggage” that we pass down.

Baggage that may include tempers, abuse, and other ugliness must be locked and never opened again, to never to be passed on. It’s a choice. It’s a matter of getting the help needed to unlearn what was taught or known.

When daughters consciously decide what is passed down to their daughters, a change will be noticed for generations to come.

Look inside your bag and recognize what should be passed down.

It’s time, daughters, to kick that hurtful “baggage” to the curb.