“Taking your teenage child to college compared to them going into the military is not the same.”

It is not that I am insensitive or downplaying the emotions that any mom may feel when their kids leave for college, but as a mom that took her firstborn son to the MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Command) Center, it was like, “Here, hold my beer”, as I felt that it could not compare to the feeling of having  your child for all these years and then handing him over to the government and to no longer have any say of what or where he was going or what he was going to do.

All parents that have a child that has gone to college and a child that went into the military know they are not the same, even those that are enlisted in different branches of the military will have different experiences.

A few examples, my sons that went to college did not arrive on a bus in the middle of the night, they were not yelled at or given nicknames by “upperclassmen” at least not on the first day. They were not given haircuts so that they blended in with all the other freshman on campus nor were pushed physically nor mentally broken down in the days to come. On their first day, they did not get issued uniforms, name tags, nor vaccinated in an assembly, in which they were marked and numbered and given full physical examinations including seeing the dentist which some were scheduled to get their wisdom teeth removed the first few weeks after arrival. Their phones were not taken away nor did they only arrive with a $20 bill, their ID, and a pocket-sized bible with family addresses written in the back. They were allowed to call us anytime and not just the one “scripted” phone call on arrival with yelling and chaos in the background.

We were able to go into the dorm or fraternity room with our college kids and were able to help unload his boxes which contained belongings that were brought from home. We were able to make up his bed as well as organize and make his room comfortable. We left him with some money and reassured him that we were just a phone call away as well as a Target or Walmart Pick Up away, if needed.

Our oldest, we waited for that first letter to arrive to confirm his address. We answered every phone call even if it was from an unknown number as we never knew if his platoon would “earn” a call home or if he were to get injured, we were informed we would get a phone call. We knew there was risks of injuries or even death, as we had been part of support pages for recruits in training and the horror stories were there.

Unlike our college kids, we were not able to send anything to our son. Even our letters had to be placed in a white envelope with nothing showing through, written only in black or blue pen. No perfumes or anything with scent. Boring printed or written letters. We did not want to bring any attention to our son. Unwanted attention could get him and as well as his platoon sent to the quarterdeck or given other disciplinary actions.

We scanned our pictures to his letters to decrease loose ends as when the Drill Instructors would decide to have “Tornadoes” and would disrupt all the recruits’ belongings on the floor sometimes shaving cream or detergent was added, these drills were conducted to help them to know how to adjust and adapt to chaos during combat or chaotic situations. I laugh because my sons in college had “tornadoes”, too, but were not done by drill instructors, they conducted their own messes.

Our college kids came home. They came home during breaks. They came home for the holidays. They came home actually whenever they wanted to. We were so blessed. We were blessed to be able to celebrate birthdays with them and other special occasions.

Our son in the military was not able to come home whenever he wanted. He missed birthdays, he missed special occasions and would also miss some holidays. He would have to request leave and sometimes that leave would not be approved until the last minute, as that is the military. We were blessed to have our son stationed stateside, so we were able to plan visits to him and have him visit or stay with us after he would get off work and then also on the weekend. We never knew for sure even up to the day of our visit, if we were going to get to see him or not because sometimes, he would be in “the field” for weeks at a time.

Whether your child is in the military or away at school, we pray for their safety. We pray for them to learn and we pray for them to know what they are trained to do when duty calls or when the time comes to serve their community by having a job. We pray for His almighty love, guidance and protection over them in their day to day lives.

With all the differences between taking your child to college compared to the military, there is the one thing that is the same, the love that we have for them and the “homesick” feeling we get when we leave them or when they leave us, it is just there.

The “homesick” feeling we get is from change. We know that what we have known and what was our normal is now not ever going to be the same.

It is just the way it is.

We adjust to these changes with time. We adapt to our new normal. We overcome, but we still cry and miss them like crazy when they are gone and love so hard when they are home.

Our hearts are with our kids no matter where they go.