Some people apologize or give a so-called apology and then think they should be welcomed back into your circle. What they do not know is that you have moved on. You are not the same person that you were.

You are healed.

Being healed has helped to recognize that there are some people that do not belong in our lives anymore. They have lost that privilege.

I believe that we can forgive those that have wronged us, but forgiveness does not mean reconnection.

I once had someone that I considered a friend but found with time that she was not. I mean when everyone else in our mutual friend circles as well as some that weren’t, knew what supposed wrong was done except for me because all communication was cut along with blocking my number and all my phone calls went directly to her voicemail, which to me said so much about the “so-called problem” and even more about the person.

I was oblivious to this person even being my enemy until she was. She would make comments on my posts on Facebook that left me wondering what I was missing, as well as other people that were reading her comments, which they were then reaching out to me and wondering who my “hater” was. I was like, “Oh, just a friend.” I ended up blocking her on my social media. I did not need that kind of drama.

At the time that this all went down, it was a time of vulnerability for me as I had experienced a loss. I was mentally and emotionally weak when she was attacking me behind my back, which was truly behind my back, as she sure was not sharing with me what wrong I had done. Over time it became more apparent to me that her actions spoke louder than any words she could have ever said to me.

They said very clearly that she was never a friend.

Ties were meant to be cut.

Through that time, I had friends that had reached out to me, not to tell me what she had said, as they could care less, but they offered their love and support, as they knew me for who I am. They showed kindness and acceptance, which I needed.

I have since forgiven this person, but forgiving was for my own healing.

I know that without forgiveness there is no healing and without healing, we do not move on.

I needed to move on.

Forgiveness does not mean that the hurt or how I was treated will be forgotten. It will be remembered as a valuable lesson in who should be trusted and as well as to take caution on who we allow into our friend circle.

An apology did come well after a year, and you know, it came with a “but” in it. A justification that she did what she did for a reason, a reason that I was not part of or involved in because she was not “friend” enough to open communication like adults would do and to say, “I am hurt because you did this…”

Initially, for the first month or two after she silenced me, I was like, “what the?”  But with time and all the love and support from so many and knowing whatever the problem was that it was on her because she did not let me in on it and was carrying it and sharing it with everyone but me, which means she was looking for attention and not resolution.

 When people, especially a so-called friend, know you are going through a hard time and make your hard time harder, they do not deserve to be allowed back into your life.

I have not had any communication with this person for months, as I do not owe her any explanation or return text or phone call, as to do so would only open doors of unnecessary exchanges that are not worth her time nor mine. She sent her apology with her “but” and that is that.

I read something that I feel is worth sharing, the author is unknown, “When other people treat you poorly, keep being you. Don’t let someone else’s bitterness change the person you are.”

I am going to keep being me, the healed me, as the healed me has overcome so much.

Forgiving does not mean reconnecting.